Hey, sorry need to rant about this. I've just been viewing my last time chat logs with my crush, which till today, hasn't worn off. In fact, it freaking grew stronger. Which makes me distance myself more. Anyway, smiled at how chatty we were last time, how, when she had to go out for her lessons, she said 'wanna sms?' and my heart lept. We chatted on sms, can still remember. We had about 167 messages in a month. Little, but enough for me. I locked them all, and I deleted the rest in order to make space for her messages. and then came the day I found out about her and her boyf. Hurt. Deleted her messages to force myself to move on. Instead, ha.. look where I've landed myself now. And now, because I found out, I can no longer bring myself to face her, or talk to her. And because of that, we're barely talking anymore. She doesn't know any of these... that's the best part. Once again there's no turning back, every step away from her I take makes my longing grow stronger. (wth where's all these english coming from -.-,... oh wait, its the song I'm listening to. Walk Away - Blue. Sorry felt the need to recommend something) Anyway, I totally dedicated my whole love life to her, and now its totally in her hands, but she doesnt know it. How I wish she and him would just... fall apart. How I wish me and her can maybe just revert back to who we were before, friends that smsed and chatted with each other. How I hope me and her would one day get together. How I wish, every single day, that I might just stand a chance. Nope, not one for me. How I wish i'll stop being so selfish... How I wish I can move on. Yet I can't. Is this obsession or an infatuation. I'm too young for love yet, so I gotta rule it out. I don't even know her well, how can I like her so, damn, much. Everynight I think of her. This, sucks.

So now, the solutions. I surround myself with the people I love to fill that gaping hole. People like KeiLin who has stood by me all these times, people like Haikel and Clara who offer my a an escape from reality. People like JiaCheng, Jareb, and Selina who bring me smiles. My beloved CCA which I totally think they FREAKING ROCK, people like lena, gina, veron, junman, hanying, marion, yongyong, debbie, alvira, wilson, jannah, dorothy, vanessa, and.. I can't think of anymore, I'm tired.

So... there's my rant.