Just thought I'd use this old template first. I know the colour clashes, but heck, its what I like.
I wanna do this for myself, so bear with me.
My Things I Crave For: (dunno why i keep posting these kinda posts)
To get back with old friends
to get back with zane, we were once like brothers. not to him, but to me. its gone now.
to have the old friends i used to have, the ones who used to be unable to backstab.
to get back with rachel, so much distance.
to get back with jc and jareb, i'm a sudden stranger.
to stop being a hypocrite, what happened? I used to make fun of hypocrites.
to apologise to people about so many things. why the fuck did i do those things.
to apologise to abigail and crystal and xuanjun.
to apologise to andy for somehow abandoning you. Wish we were in Perth
to apologise to kenneth for the many hurtful things i said.
to stop having so much awkwardness. there was actually a period of time i had so much spunk, i would be prepared to do a backflip just to say hi to people and make them smile. now i'm just too lazy to lift up my hand and say hi.
to treat today as my last day, live each moment like my last.
to stop thinking that im so way above people.
to think that NO ONE is inferior to me.
what happened?
when will the time come when we cried out of happiness.
when we still said 'i don't friend you ah'
when we never had any fakeness between us
when we used to enjoy every single moment of our friendship
when we quarreled on the rules of the game, and not on the persons attitude
i still remember every little detail and memory, is it me?
why is it that,... i HAVE to remember these kind of things.
it gives me joy, yet breaks my heart knowing that i'll never be able to see it again.
we never properly knew what anger was, so we couldn't get angry for long
we never even knew the word backstab, so we never would have done it
we used the word fake for pokemon cards, not people's expression
we wouldn't text other people while out with our friends
friends came first. they were the ones who stood behind you
now you're just behind, gotta catch up.
you don't keep up to speed with them, that's it.
fashion, phones, being good-looking, being cool.
when we wished the days would never end when we were together,
but when we went home, we quickly went to sleep to get the day over with.
we always asked 'you okay? I wanna do sth to help ya ;)'
we would create our own language and laugh about it,
we would try making secret handshakes but always gave up in the end
we would eventually fight, but pretend nothing happened.
and now?
we backstab, live in masquerades, everyday is a different mask,
we see someone in pain? 'better not go near him, later lose face'
we just go out, hang out, alright go home
when we go out, there's always a format and structure to follow
meet, be late, use an eternity to decide where to eat and people just stand around texting others
when one person finally decides, we agree grumpily and drag our feet,
we eat the food. silence falls upon all of us.
when we're done, we're suppose to talk about someone we hate to create common ground.
eventually we would hate more people, or we could end up laughing over a childish thing, (the thing i long for.)
once we're done, we get up, and walk aimlessly and talk about things that make us seem cool, has no meaning.
once we're done, we set off the the'outing' place. some people no longer have the mood.
they start texting and appear very uninterested. this affects everyone's mood.
nobody bothers to ask, but only 1 or 2 do. their heads get bitten off, and the moody one wants more attention.
they go home, blog about the negatives, sleep, and repeat the cycle.
every small action that has a little negatives in it, everyone would pick it up,
hold on to it, and twist and turn it into an act of utmost violation and cruelty (backstabbing)
I do admit, that i have fallen victim to some of those things I said, but not the major ones.
How much of those things fit you? Maybe its time to revert to our oldselves.
Why do you think I still like to play catching.